My ideal date.

Going for a date is scary, particularly when you just knew the man from Facebook or through text messages. It's like entering a room full of strangers, hoping that one person would say hi and the conversation would last more than just HI. 

Men fear dates because dates often mean they need to fork out a lot of cash just to please the women. Women often fear dates because the media portrays dates as the scene in Twilight, where the man tries to seduce the woman by telling her that he can't read her mind, thus making her think that she's strange and different.

Lavish dates are portrayed like this.

Oh, women fall for the ones who tell them that they're different from other women.

I know, I know. This post may be a tad inappropriate, given my current relationship status. But, I thought that it would be fun to write about it. It's been years since I went on my first date and all. The idea of going for a date makes me feel all thrilled and warm inside.

So, since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I would like to share with you the things I'd like to do if I were to go on a date. I'm not representing every women in this world, so, what I love, might be someone's not so ideal kind of date. 

Just bring RM100, no more than that. That's the price for this ideal date.

But hey, points number 1 and 2 below always work like a charm, unless you are going to date someone who is strictly dieting, then focus on number 1.

1. Gifts to start the date.

I love gerbera daisies. Many of you know that. It's my favorite flower, and I'd love to have daisies as my wedding flowers. If you have doubts that the date will fail, think daisies as  the bed to land on to take the fall.

No need to get me roses, roses aren't my cup of tea. Roses are a bit more expensive than daisies. Daisies cost RM 20 for 13 stalks. You don't have to wrap them into a bouquet, just tie them together with a ribbon, and voila!

I love chocolates, too. Who can resist chocolate? You can't go wrong with chocolates (unless they're lactose intolerant, so this can be a hit or miss).

OR

Total for these gifts: RM 29.

2. Never drive a hungry woman around.

Famished women are cranky. I'm extra sensitive when my stomach is empty. So, it is advisable not to ask me where I want to go for dinner. This should have been carefully planned by you. 

You don't have to take me to a really posh and high end restaurant. Those places make me feel uncomfortable. Decent restaurants are good enough. I like Western and Chinese food. A simple beef or lamb chop or buttered prawns will please my taste buds. 

 OR

Total for dinner: RM 50.

3. What should we talk about?

I can connect easily with someone who talks about his personal life and motivations rather than talking about what he does in the office or how he scores the women. I find that those who are slightly vulnerable are less likely to be uninteresting. 

Talk about the bluest and clearest ocean that you want to swim in.

Talk about your dreams and your motivations. Talk about your plans to travel and explore new places. Talk about your favorite books or TV shows. Talk about your family and siblings. Talk about your friends and how you knew them. Talk about the most outlandish thing that you've done.

I'm partial to men who are able to tell me things and people that matter to them. Although it increases the risk of potential stalking and over sharing, I believe that I can stop the guy from telling too much.

So, I heard you like cheese.

4. What shouldn't we talk about?

Sex. Unless I'm a hooker, sex is not in my vocabulary for the night. I don't want to hear how many women that you have slept with. 

I also don't like to hear about your car. I don't know how to fix a car.

5. Extra pointers.

1 million points to you if you don't smoke!

• Give tips to the waiter/waitress. 
• Ask how my food was. 
• Ask if I was still hungry. Ask if I wanted dessert. 
• Silent your phone. It's rude to keep texting or checking your phone.
• Smell nice. Shave your beard and mustache. I dislike men who have facial hair. Unless you are Bradley James, you are excused.

It should be a crime against his parents for giving birth to him in the UK.

I like doing things that are random and fun. Hence, a carnival or fun fair is the perfect place for a date. There are lots of stalls selling good food and I get so animated whenever I'm at a carnival. I love the rides and the exuberant ambiance. 

Sometimes, acting like a happy child is the closest feeling to being happy, no?

There's an inner child in every adult. :D

I've always wanted to ride in this.

Well, if those nice carnivals aren't available, I'll settle for this: 

I call it, the Apek apek fun fair.

You don't need to win a teddy bear for me. I don't like teddy bears. We can just shoot rings into bottle necks, or slide ping pong balls through the nailed boards. Total: Probably RM 15 or none (fun fairs are hard to come by here).

6. Ice cream?

Yes please. My choice would be Wall's Magnum ice cream. Ice cream made it to my top three desserts' list ever since this ice cream came along. The top spot goes to cheesecake. Second spot goes to creme brulee. 

This ice cream still amazes me every time I eat it.

Total for dessert: RM4

Last but not least, a hug. Not a kiss, but a hug. I think a kiss is a huge responsibility to carry, for both men and women. A kiss means that you want to see that person again, and you hope that things will be more than just dates.

I think kisses are only safe to be given when there is a mutual trust between my date and I. 

But, that's just me. Maybe it's called growing older and being more cautious of how I cope with my emotions.

Oh by the way, Happy New Year dear readers!

A miraculous blessing, no?

So, I was on a road trip from Kuching to Sabah for about 2 weeks. It was my very first time sitting for hours in a car instead of travelling on a plane for a couple of hours. I saw and learned many things along the way.

 Princess Arabella and Aunty Fris <-- Not a typo.

Princess demands a hug!

What can I say about Sabah? This would be my third trip to Sabah since 2010. I love Sabah (not the price of the food though). So, what made this trip so memorable? Two things: Being with my boyfriend's family and that very uncanny day.

Brunei is so magnificent! Too bad I didn't get to take a lot of pics.

What happened? I was sitting at Gaya Street's SugarBun, minding my own business. I had finished wandering around the Pasar Tamu and I decided to wait for my boyfriend's family there. An old man had already occupied the seat next to me. I didn't give him any much thought. Suddenly, he turned and told me that he was from Sandakan and he was from the Sungai tribe. I replied with a short oh. He then proceeded telling me that he had come to KK to meet with his son who was on his way from Lawas. 

 At Murut Cultural Centre in Tenom.

I listened to his story. He only had enough money for the bus ride from Sandakan and he slept at a nearby mosque the night before. The bus ride cost him RM 43. He told me that he ate this morning with his last few ringgits. I immediately felt sorry for him but I felt scared, too. What if this was a scam? What if he was a drug addict? 


But, he looked very normal and he did look very starved. He asked if I could spare him a few ringgits just to survive through the day. He also added that he would understand if I didn't do so. I wanted to reach into my purse and hand him a RM10 note, but my conscience told me not to. I was afraid that if I gave him the money, I'd do more harm. 

 Satay in Sipitang.

One for the album. :D

So, I explained to him that I was waiting for my family and I would appreciate it if he would wait for my family to come back. He agreed. We didn't talk for a while, when he suddenly told me that he didn't want to trouble me. So he said goodbye and left. I felt relieved somehow, but I really did sympathize for that man.


A minute later, another old man came. He was carrying a few plastic bags filled with vegetables and food. He kept staring at me and he seemed to be anxious at some point. He sat next to me. I thought he was there to wait for his wife or his family. He then stood up and started walking around Sugarbun, with his eyes fixed on me. I wanted to leave, when he suddenly walked up to me and asked if I was alone. I told him my family was at the tamu and would be back soon. He then asked if I was hungry and if I needed food. 

 I touched an elephant for the very first time!!

Sunset at Pekan Nabalu.

I thought to myself, am I wayyyy too skinny that I look starved?? 


I politely said no and that I just had my breakfast. He didn't seem to hear me, so he asked the same question again. I said no, and told him I needed to go. 

 Breakfast. :D

Aelred's birthday!

I don't know if this is God's way of letting me know that He always has my back no matter what, but what happened next really stunned me. 


That old man said, "Kalau ko mo makan, sia kasi ko duit. Sia kasian sama ko, duduk sorang sini. Sia bukan orang jahat. Nah." Translation: If you want to eat, I'll give you some money. I feel sorry for you, you're sitting alone here. I'm not a bad man.

 Ranau's POW camp.

He then reached into his pocket and placed some money on the table. I rejected the money profusely but he insisted and then he left. Dumbfounded and completely speechless, I stared at the money for quite some time before I finally realized what had happened.

I wouldn't mind to give that old man RM 10 if I had these earlier.

I counted the money- RM61. Now, which stranger would hand you that amount of cash without anything in return?? I quickly left SugarBun to find my boyfriend's family. 


I was thinking, what other things can happen if I stay there any longer?? 


Maybe another old man comes by and hands me a credit card?

A new way to charge your phone!

Ferry ride in Lawas. What a waste of time just to cross a small river. 

 Please build a bridge!

That day, I truly understand the meaning of God works in mysterious ways. 

Things I don't understand.

There are many things in life that I don't fully comprehend. Why The Vampire Diaries stop airing after 9 episodes this season? Why people drive slow when they witness an accident? Why time passes by so slowly when you are NOT enjoying yourself? 

So, here are some of the world's events that I am attempting to understand as I grow older each day.

1. Men and their ego.

They admit they are egoistic. They know they have done things that are wrong, and they refuse to apologize. Is it hard to let their guards down and admit their mistakes? Men are simple-minded; they don't over analyze things and they churn out simple solutions in their minds. 


But when it comes to mistakes or any wrongdoings, there isn't any simple solution. 

2. Women/men who can't stay away from other people's partners/spouses.

This is another level of human being that I ABSOLUTELY don't understand. You have the kind of friends who actually would go all the way to watch your relationship fall apart by deviously planning behind your back. You also have the kind of people who deliberately attach themselves to your partner/spouse. There are also some people who repudiate to accept the fact that they are ruining other people's lives by doing so.

Help me to understand what is going through those people's minds. Is it because of the chase, or the pure satisfaction of having actually succeed doing the deed?

3. Marrying more than one woman.

I strongly believe that all women have this notion of having one man for the rest of their lives. I hate how television shows glorify polygamy. The tv shows make women seem so complacent and weak by accepting another women into their marriages. You only get married once to one person. That's the beauty of marriage. You want to marry someone because you want to spend your whole life with that one person. 

Because in order to marry another, you will have to ruin your first marriage and when the damage has been done, the first wife has to learn to accept a new way of living. Emotions are tricky to cope with. 


Whatever happened to "Leave other people's husbands/wives alone"?

4. Obedient Wives Club.
This club makes all the women activists cringe and probably roll in their graves. I don't understand why they can't emphasize enough on being obedient to your husband and fulfilling his every needs. Sex is perhaps the vision and mission of this club. Wives are supposed to fulfill the husbands' sex needs and have threesome or foursome all the time. First of all, having sex together? Assuming the women aren't bisexual, so they have to wait for their turns by the bed? Or they do kinky stuffs, like, kiss each other?


Women are portrayed as sex slaves and the oddity of this club is that women are taught to accept polygamy. So, feelings like jealousy and insecurities are forced to be obscured their entire lives. I'm not an activist or anything close to it, but in my unassuming opinion, women this era should be more self-reliant, as men do have volatile behaviors that we do not anticipate. Should the husband pass away, do they still want to live together? To associate women with first class prostitutes is too much. 

5. Angry Birds.
I still don't get the whole bird slinging thing that's practically EVERYWHERE. From stationaries to plush toys. 95% of my students are Angry Birds fanatics. They own almost every single merchandise. T-shirts, erasers, pencils, rulers, bags etc. I like Plants VS Zombies, because the zombies are cute and the plants are just too adorable beyond words. But Angry Birds? I digress.

How cute is that pea shooter! I want!

To end my somewhat 'homecoming' post (esehhh), I shall post this video up. 

Yay for cheesy pop love songs 10 years ago!

Hi you!

This is just a quick hello at all of you! :D I'll blog about something real soon, probably something about Justin Bieber. Say hi, Bieb's fans and haters! I'll not update on my life though, I think Twitter's doing a pretty good job at it. 

But, I just have to say this, I got myself a Tabby point Siamese kitten about a month ago. Finally my grandma opened her heart to this amazing little thing and allowed me to have it.

 My favorite pastime? Disturbing my mama anytime I can, especially when she's busy with work.

*I'm dreaming of kitty rainbows and Ferrero Rochers.*

See you all soon!

What and If.

We've all lost something, or someone in our lives. Some pain fade, but some never go away. Sometimes, the same pain just intensifies. Sometimes, we feel as if we are all alone in this world. And sometimes, we build walls around us, just to see who cared enough to tear the walls down. 

But, people often get tired of tearing down the same walls over and over. When my mom passed away, I was overwhelmed with grief and I had that moment where I wanted to just lock myself in my room and never come out. I just wanted to leave the commotion outside of my room, and to immerse in my own self pity. I wanted to blame people for what had happened to her, and I wanted to blame myself. 

I had so much pain in my heart. I wanted to sit in a corner, to cry, and cry, and cry again. I didn't want to hear condolences, I didn't want to see the sea of teary-eyed people. I did not want any of those. All I wanted to was to blame someone and to shut myself out from the world. What would my life be without her? How would we survive without her? She was everything to us. She was always the strong one. She never faltered and showed her pain to us. If anything, she made it seem easy to be a supermom. 

As I sat in my room, trying so hard to admit that she was gone, I felt the strongest urge to get out of the room and to be amongst those who were grieving near her. The silence in my room was deafening. 

I lost my mom the day after Christmas. A friend of mine is constantly trying to make the ends meet at home. Bills to pay, car loan to settle every month and mouths to feed, all because of an inept father; with such meagre pay. Child trafficking. People at war. Homeless. Hunger. Death of someone beloved.

I would be selfish if I were to shut myself away from people. I didn't need people to worry about me. I needed support, I needed comfort. 

Everyone goes through pain. Without pain, people won't see life differently. And yes, people deal with problems the way they are most comfortable of. Some run away from them, some face them, and some just sit in a corner, waiting for them to just vanish. 

But there is a world that still revolves around the Sun and it never stops. Not for anyone. We get on with life, no matter how hard it is. We can't weigh our lives based on others. There is another side of their lives you may not know of. 

And most of all, count your blessings. Be thankful for parents who are there for you. Be thankful for friends who tell you the truth about yourself. Be thankful for lovers who show their love for you. Be thankful for encouragements that are whispered in your ears.

And most of all, what doesn't kill you only make you wiser, if not bolder.