Hot Chocolate

My ideal date.

2012-01-25T19:35:00.003+08:00

Going for a date is scary, particularly when you just knew the man from Facebook or through text messages. It's like entering a room full of strangers, hoping that one person would say hi and the conversation would last more than just HI.

Men fear dates because dates often mean they need to fork out a lot of cash just to please the women. Women often fear dates because the media portrays dates as the scene in Twilight, where the man tries to seduce the woman by telling her that he can't read her mind, thus making her think that she's strange and different.

Lavish dates are portrayed like this.

Oh, women fall for the ones who tell them that they're different from other women.

I know, I know. This post may be a tad inappropriate, given my current relationship status. But, I thought that it would be fun to write about it. It's been years since I went on my first date and all. The idea of going for a date makes me feel all thrilled and warm inside.

So, since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I would like to share with you the things I'd like to do if I were to go on a date. I'm not representing every women in this world, so, what I love, might be someone's not so ideal kind of date.

Just bring RM100, no more than that. That's the price for this ideal date.

But hey, points number 1 and 2 below always work like a charm, unless you are going to date someone who is strictly dieting, then focus on number 1.

1. Gifts to start the date.

I love gerbera daisies. Many of you know that. It's my favorite flower, and I'd love to have daisies as my wedding flowers. If you have doubts that the date will fail, think daisies as the bed to land on to take the fall.

No need to get me roses, roses aren't my cup of tea. Roses are a bit more expensive than daisies. Daisies cost RM 20 for 13 stalks. You don't have to wrap them into a bouquet, just tie them together with a ribbon, and voila!

I love chocolates, too. Who can resist chocolate? You can't go wrong with chocolates (unless they're lactose intolerant, so this can be a hit or miss).

Total for these gifts: RM 29.

2. Never drive a hungry woman around.

Famished women are cranky. I'm extra sensitive when my stomach is empty. So, it is advisable not to ask me where I want to go for dinner. This should have been carefully planned by you.

You don't have to take me to a really posh and high end restaurant. Those places make me feel uncomfortable. Decent restaurants are good enough. I like Western and Chinese food. A simple beef or lamb chop or buttered prawns will please my taste buds.

Total for dinner: RM 50.

3. What should we talk about?

I can connect easily with someone who talks about his personal life and motivations rather than talking about what he does in the office or how he scores the women. I find that those who are slightly vulnerable are less likely to be uninteresting.

Talk about the bluest and clearest ocean that you want to swim in.

Talk about your dreams and your motivations. Talk about your plans to travel and explore new places. Talk about your favorite books or TV shows. Talk about your family and siblings. Talk about your friends and how you knew them. Talk about the most outlandish thing that you've done.

I'm partial to men who are able to tell me things and people that matter to them. Although it increases the risk of potential stalking and over sharing, I believe that I can stop the guy from telling too much.

So, I heard you like cheese.

4. What shouldn't we talk about?

Sex. Unless I'm a hooker, sex is not in my vocabulary for the night. I don't want to hear how many women that you have slept with.

I also don't like to hear about your car. I don't know how to fix a car.

5. Extra pointers.

1 million points to you if you don't smoke!

Give tips to the waiter/waitress.
Ask how my food was.
Ask if I was still hungry. Ask if I wanted dessert.
Silent your phone. It's rude to keep texting or checking your phone.
Smell nice. Shave your beard and mustache. I dislike men who have facial hair. Unless you are Bradley James, you are excused.

It should be a crime against his parents for giving birth to him in the UK.

I like doing things that are random and fun. Hence, a carnival or fun fair is the perfect place for a date. There are lots of stalls selling good food and I get so animated whenever I'm at a carnival. I love the rides and the exuberant ambiance.

Sometimes, acting like a happy child is the closest feeling to being happy, no?

There's an inner child in every adult. :D

I've always wanted to ride in this.

Well, if those nice carnivals aren't available, I'll settle for this:

I call it, the Apek apek fun fair.

You don't need to win a teddy bear for me. I don't like teddy bears. We can just shoot rings into bottle necks, or slide ping pong balls through the nailed boards. Total: Probably RM 15 or none (fun fairs are hard to come by here).

6. Ice cream?

Yes please. My choice would be Wall's Magnum ice cream. Ice cream made it to my top three desserts' list ever since this ice cream came along. The top spot goes to cheesecake. Second spot goes to creme brulee.

This ice cream still amazes me every time I eat it.

Total for dessert: RM4

Last but not least, a hug. Not a kiss, but a hug. I think a kiss is a huge responsibility to carry, for both men and women. A kiss means that you want to see that person again, and you hope that things will be more than just dates.

I think kisses are only safe to be given when there is a mutual trust between my date and I.

But, that's just me. Maybe it's called growing older and being more cautious of how I cope with my emotions.

Oh by the way, Happy New Year dear readers!

A miraculous blessing, no?

2011-12-17T21:17:00.001+08:00

So, I was on a road trip from Kuching to Sabah for about 2 weeks. It was my very first time sitting for hours in a car instead of travelling on a plane for a couple of hours. I saw and learned many things along the way.

Princess Arabella and Aunty Fris <-- Not a typo.

Princess demands a hug!

What can I say about Sabah? This would be my third trip to Sabah since 2010. I love Sabah (not the price of the food though). So, what made this trip so memorable? Two things: Being with my boyfriend's family and that very uncanny day.

Brunei is so magnificent! Too bad I didn't get to take a lot of pics.

What happened? I was sitting at Gaya Street's SugarBun, minding my own business. I had finished wandering around the Pasar Tamu and I decided to wait for my boyfriend's family there. An old man had already occupied the seat next to me. I didn't give him any much thought. Suddenly, he turned and told me that he was from Sandakan and he was from the Sungai tribe. I replied with a short oh. He then proceeded telling me that he had come to KK to meet with his son who was on his way from Lawas.

At Murut Cultural Centre in Tenom.

I listened to his story. He only had enough money for the bus ride from Sandakan and he slept at a nearby mosque the night before. The bus ride cost him RM 43. He told me that he ate this morning with his last few ringgits. I immediately felt sorry for him but I felt scared, too. What if this was a scam? What if he was a drug addict?

But, he looked very normal and he did look very starved. He asked if I could spare him a few ringgits just to survive through the day. He also added that he would understand if I didn't do so. I wanted to reach into my purse and hand him a RM10 note, but my conscience told me not to. I was afraid that if I gave him the money, I'd do more harm.

Satay in Sipitang.

One for the album. :D

So, I explained to him that I was waiting for my family and I would appreciate it if he would wait for my family to come back. He agreed. We didn't talk for a while, when he suddenly told me that he didn't want to trouble me. So he said goodbye and left. I felt relieved somehow, but I really did sympathize for that man.

A minute later, another old man came. He was carrying a few plastic bags filled with vegetables and food. He kept staring at me and he seemed to be anxious at some point. He sat next to me. I thought he was there to wait for his wife or his family. He then stood up and started walking around Sugarbun, with his eyes fixed on me. I wanted to leave, when he suddenly walked up to me and asked if I was alone. I told him my family was at the tamu and would be back soon. He then asked if I was hungry and if I needed food.

I touched an elephant for the very first time!!

Sunset at Pekan Nabalu.

I thought to myself, am I wayyyy too skinny that I look starved??

I politely said no and that I just had my breakfast. He didn't seem to hear me, so he asked the same question again. I said no, and told him I needed to go.

Breakfast. :D

Aelred's birthday!

I don't know if this is God's way of letting me know that He always has my back no matter what, but what happened next really stunned me.

That old man said, "Kalau ko mo makan, sia kasi ko duit. Sia kasian sama ko, duduk sorang sini. Sia bukan orang jahat. Nah." Translation: If you want to eat, I'll give you some money. I feel sorry for you, you're sitting alone here. I'm not a bad man.

Ranau's POW camp.

He then reached into his pocket and placed some money on the table. I rejected the money profusely but he insisted and then he left. Dumbfounded and completely speechless, I stared at the money for quite some time before I finally realized what had happened.

I wouldn't mind to give that old man RM 10 if I had these earlier.

I counted the money- RM61. Now, which stranger would hand you that amount of cash without anything in return?? I quickly left SugarBun to find my boyfriend's family.

I was thinking, what other things can happen if I stay there any longer??

Maybe another old man comes by and hands me a credit card?

A new way to charge your phone!

Ferry ride in Lawas. What a waste of time just to cross a small river.

Please build a bridge!

That day, I truly understand the meaning of God works in mysterious ways.

Things I don't understand.

2011-11-16T23:37:00.005+08:00

There are many things in life that I don't fully comprehend. Why The Vampire Diaries stop airing after 9 episodes this season? Why people drive slow when they witness an accident? Why time passes by so slowly when you are NOT enjoying yourself?

So, here are some of the world's events that I am attempting to understand as I grow older each day.

1. Men and their ego.

They admit they are egoistic. They know they have done things that are wrong, and they refuse to apologize. Is it hard to let their guards down and admit their mistakes? Men are simple-minded; they don't over analyze things and they churn out simple solutions in their minds.

But when it comes to mistakes or any wrongdoings, there isn't any simple solution.

2. Women/men who can't stay away from other people's partners/spouses.

This is another level of human being that I ABSOLUTELY don't understand. You have the kind of friends who actually would go all the way to watch your relationship fall apart by deviously planning behind your back. You also have the kind of people who deliberately attach themselves to your partner/spouse. There are also some people who repudiate to accept the fact that they are ruining other people's lives by doing so.

Help me to understand what is going through those people's minds. Is it because of the chase, or the pure satisfaction of having actually succeed doing the deed?

3. Marrying more than one woman.

I strongly believe that all women have this notion of having one man for the rest of their lives. I hate how television shows glorify polygamy. The tv shows make women seem so complacent and weak by accepting another women into their marriages. You only get married once to one person. That's the beauty of marriage. You want to marry someone because you want to spend your whole life with that one person.

Because in order to marry another, you will have to ruin your first marriage and when the damage has been done, the first wife has to learn to accept a new way of living. Emotions are tricky to cope with.

Whatever happened to "Leave other people's husbands/wives alone"?

4. Obedient Wives Club.
This club makes all the women activists cringe and probably roll in their graves. I don't understand why they can't emphasize enough on being obedient to your husband and fulfilling his every needs. Sex is perhaps the vision and mission of this club. Wives are supposed to fulfill the husbands' sex needs and have threesome or foursome all the time. First of all, having sex together? Assuming the women aren't bisexual, so they have to wait for their turns by the bed? Or they do kinky stuffs, like, kiss each other?

Women are portrayed as sex slaves and the oddity of this club is that women are taught to accept polygamy. So, feelings like jealousy and insecurities are forced to be obscured their entire lives. I'm not an activist or anything close to it, but in my unassuming opinion, women this era should be more self-reliant, as men do have volatile behaviors that we do not anticipate. Should the husband pass away, do they still want to live together? To associate women with first class prostitutes is too much.

5. Angry Birds.
I still don't get the whole bird slinging thing that's practically EVERYWHERE. From stationaries to plush toys. 95% of my students are Angry Birds fanatics. They own almost every single merchandise. T-shirts, erasers, pencils, rulers, bags etc. I like Plants VS Zombies, because the zombies are cute and the plants are just too adorable beyond words. But Angry Birds? I digress.

How cute is that pea shooter! I want!

To end my somewhat 'homecoming' post (esehhh), I shall post this video up.

Yay for cheesy pop love songs 10 years ago!

Hi you!

2011-11-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

This is just a quick hello at all of you! :D I'll blog about something real soon, probably something about Justin Bieber. Say hi, Bieb's fans and haters! I'll not update on my life though, I think Twitter's doing a pretty good job at it.

But, I just have to say this, I got myself a Tabby point Siamese kitten about a month ago. Finally my grandma opened her heart to this amazing little thing and allowed me to have it.

My favorite pastime? Disturbing my mama anytime I can, especially when she's busy with work.

*I'm dreaming of kitty rainbows and Ferrero Rochers.*

See you all soon!

What and If.

2011-07-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

We've all lost something, or someone in our lives. Some pain fade, but some never go away. Sometimes, the same pain just intensifies. Sometimes, we feel as if we are all alone in this world. And sometimes, we build walls around us, just to see who cared enough to tear the walls down.

But, people often get tired of tearing down the same walls over and over. When my mom passed away, I was overwhelmed with grief and I had that moment where I wanted to just lock myself in my room and never come out. I just wanted to leave the commotion outside of my room, and to immerse in my own self pity. I wanted to blame people for what had happened to her, and I wanted to blame myself.

I had so much pain in my heart. I wanted to sit in a corner, to cry, and cry, and cry again. I didn't want to hear condolences, I didn't want to see the sea of teary-eyed people. I did not want any of those. All I wanted to was to blame someone and to shut myself out from the world. What would my life be without her? How would we survive without her? She was everything to us. She was always the strong one. She never faltered and showed her pain to us. If anything, she made it seem easy to be a supermom.

As I sat in my room, trying so hard to admit that she was gone, I felt the strongest urge to get out of the room and to be amongst those who were grieving near her. The silence in my room was deafening.

I lost my mom the day after Christmas. A friend of mine is constantly trying to make the ends meet at home. Bills to pay, car loan to settle every month and mouths to feed, all because of an inept father; with such meagre pay. Child trafficking. People at war. Homeless. Hunger. Death of someone beloved.

I would be selfish if I were to shut myself away from people. I didn't need people to worry about me. I needed support, I needed comfort.

Everyone goes through pain. Without pain, people won't see life differently. And yes, people deal with problems the way they are most comfortable of. Some run away from them, some face them, and some just sit in a corner, waiting for them to just vanish.

But there is a world that still revolves around the Sun and it never stops. Not for anyone. We get on with life, no matter how hard it is. We can't weigh our lives based on others. There is another side of their lives you may not know of.

And most of all, count your blessings. Be thankful for parents who are there for you. Be thankful for friends who tell you the truth about yourself. Be thankful for lovers who show their love for you. Be thankful for encouragements that are whispered in your ears.

And most of all, what doesn't kill you only make you wiser, if not bolder.

Swan Teem Steamboat.

2011-05-18T22:36:00.001+08:00

So, I have this story I've been longing to immortalize in my blog. I hadn't been able to do so, as I couldn't find the free time to log in to blogger.com. Blame work. T_T

On Mother's Day, my boyfriend, my brother and I decided to have an awesome dinner at Swan Teem Restaurant, because it serves pork. My boyfriend is pork fanatic. We were eager and all cheery when we arrived. We saw an empty table, as everywhere else was full and chaotic. We were like, Oh hey, there's a table and there's no RESERVED sign on it.

So, the hungry-and-cheery trios sat down and waited for one of the waiters to take our order (drinks, that is). We waved our hands at some of the them, and one finally came to our table. He had this "You're not supposed to be here" look on his face. He told us to wait for a while, he went to, I don't know where, probably to pick his nose. He came back a few minutes later, and he told us, "Kamu tiga orang saja ka?" Just the three of you?

So, I said yes. He replied curtly, "Tidak bole woo, mesti mau manyak orang punya." I answered, "Hah? Maksud kamu?" Then, another waiter came by our table with a group of people and told us, "Ini meja orang, mereka mau duduk sini. Mereka datang dulu."

I began to see flames in front of me. Like, figuratively. "Habis, kalau mereka punya, mana sign RESERVED?" My boyfriend was already pissed, so we were moved (not we moved) to another free table. Read: No RESERVED sign on the table. We sat down, and a few good minutes later, another waiter came, this time a really young boy.

"Kamu tiga saja ka?"

"Ya, kenapa, tidak bole meh?"

"Errrr,.... (he whispered something to his friend) tidak bole woo, kamu 3 saja. Mesti mau manyak orang duduk."

"Kamu sapa?"

"Errrr.... Sekejap ah. (He went to his friend at another table and came back) Sorry, tidak dapat. Kami penuh oh." You think I'm blind or what??

My boyfriend replied, "Fuck this shit!", and proceeded to drag my bro and I away. He was aggravated and I could hear my heart beating crazily.

Being the obstinate me, I decided to confront the manager or supervisor. A woman who appeared to be in charge was taking care of the counter, so I went up to her.

"Boss, itu meja tidak ada orang, kenapa kami tidak bole duduk sana?"

"Tidak bole owh, itu reserve punya."

Then a worker proceeded to put the RESERVED sign.

"Yaka? Tadi kami disuruh duduk sana, tidak ada pun? Kenapa sekarang you baru mau letak sign? Kenapa tidak tadi?"

"Kami suda letak tadi. Kami full woo."
"Kamu ingat saya buta ka? Saya tahu, kenapa kamu suruh kami duduk sana tadi kalau itu meja sudah direserve orang??"

She avoided any eye contact with me by counting money.

"Tadi suda, kami suda letak."
"Saya tidak buta, kami tidak nampak sign di sana. Saya pandai baca."

"Kami memang full sekalang."
"Kenapa you tidak benarkan kami makan sini 3 orang?"

"Meja suda di-book woo."

"Saya tahu, kenapa kami dihalau la?"

"Full woo sekalang ini. Itu meja suda orang punya."

My boyfriend asked me to stop and to forget about it. I wasn't ready to let it go yet.

"Kamu ingat kami tidak ada duit ka? Mentang-mentang kami Dayak."

"Full woo!"

"Kamu ini memang, dahla rude, gila duit, ambil kesempatan. Apa business macam ini? Go to hell la your restaurant!"

People were staring so I decided to leave. To Swan Teem Restaurant, thank you for the ultimate discrimination experience. I couldn't have experienced it any better in other places.

When business is blooming, they take full advantage and waste no time in gaining lots of profits. Ignore those who come in small groups, take only big ones, they bring in more cash.

Your new theme song: It's all about the money, money, money. We sure need your money, money, money. It's about the cha-ching cha-ching.

Pic taken from a blog.

Challenge of the year!

2011-01-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

Do you want to try something childish and new this year? Well, I do! It's good to reminisce what childhood was once like. I got this idea while watching Easy A and I was inspired by the MOST cutest movie scene ever.

If you're up for this challenge, here are the steps!

1. Find a pop/country/R&B/love song that you really dislike (especially the one that you swore you'd never listen to again!)

For me, it would be Sean Kingston- Beautiful Girls. God, I freaking hate that song, and any songs from that dude. So nasal!

P.S: Heavy metal songs must be excluded!

2. Pick JUST a weekend every single month that you'd be completely free. Just you and your room.

Download that song (if you haven't done so) and play it out loud in your room. If you have speakers, that's even better!

3. Cringe so much the moment you click 'Play'?

Set it as your ringtone or message tone!

4. Dance around the room to the song's beats.

Vary your moves, not just hip swaying or head bopping. Jump on the bed if you must!

5. Still not liking it after the weekend is over?

Google up the lyrics and print it. Paste it all over your room.

If all else fails, watch this!

Here's to a better year and you!

2010-12-31T16:28:00.000+08:00

New Year will be happening in less than 24 hours, and year end sales are happening everywhere. Malls are packed and roads are terribly jammed. People are making endless resolutions and trying to tie 2010's ends up.

Me? Resolutions are long forgotten and I think leaving your memories in 2010 abruptly is just as bad. I'm all for WILL do and SHOULD do. Let's be grateful that God has given us yet another year to try to be a better person and another year to discover the purpose of life. If you are in the midst of writing ~~same ol'~~ resolutions, stop right there. Resolutions are just plain excuses to boost self-esteem, in other words, to put false hopes and sigh at the end of the year when you didn't achieve them.

I've heard and read my fair share of people's resolutions and I found two common ones: To stop smoking and to lose weight. Both are hard to achieve, though not impossible. Both require a lot of efforts and perseverance, not just mere thoughts. If you are doing it half-heartedly, you are bound to fall back and do the same thing again. It's human nature to be tempted and weak.

Smoking is an excessive habit, that is hard to curb. Losing weight generally means dieting. If you want to stop smoking, it takes more than just to say, I want to stop this habit. It's in every bit of your soul to not be tempted to pick up a cigarette and light it up. It takes days and months or even years to refrain from smoking. It's addictive.

And to those who are exercising to look good but smoke like there's no tomorrow? There's really no point that you have a well-built body when your organs inside are slowly dying due to lack of smoke-free air and nicotine-free blood cells.

Call that, The Irony.

Dieting is almost useless if you're on a yo yo diet. To lose weight is to lose it healthily. Changing your meal plans will only make yourself weaker to temptations. To lose weight is to exercise. Start small, then gradually vary your exercise routines. There is NO shortcut to lose weight, because if there was any, all you'd get at the end of that shortcut is weight gain due to binge eating.

So, make NO resolutions, just focus on what you WILL do, and SHOULD do. Don't begin when the year ends or starts; just start on any given day. Why wait for new years to start doing better things? :)

To my friends, thank you for being such awesome people. I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings in any way. Let's focus on life's plans, together! :)

To perverts out there, find your own girlfriends to sleep with, pronto!

To those who have hurt my feelings, it's time you understand that by hurting me, you're not any smarter or better, any second of the day.

To 2011,

5-year plans.

2010-11-29T19:06:00.001+08:00

November will end soon, and December will march its way in. Christmas decorations are placed in malls and homes. Christmas carols are played for us to hum along while shopping for things, but in my case, I sing them out loud. :) Yesterday was Advent's first Sunday, November 28th.

Yesterday would have been my mum's 51st birthday. Happy birthday, my angel. :)

I have no doubt, she had the best celebration ever. We could only offer prayers and tears for her, but God gave her everything she had ever wanted while she was still here. I dream about her every now and then, and there are days I pretend that she's still around. It's still hard, and I can't believe how some people could actually laugh about this.

Anyway, life must go on, it does not come with a full stop when things don't go our way. Speaking of which, have you fulfilled any of your New Year's resolutions? In my humble opinion, resolutions are overrated, as many swore to get them done, but never really found a way to get around it. While cleaning up my book rack last year, I found a piece of paper where my resolutions were written on it.

Sure, I did some of them, but it was kind of a let down when I realized I did not act upon most of my resolutions. I was egocentric too, where most of my resolutions were about myself. Not once did I thought of doing something for others. Not once did I thought of giving something to others. :(

This year, I have decided that resolutions are out, plans are in. I'm getting older each year, and I take that challenge to be a wiser person. When my mum was around, she would discuss about my future with me and she would help me to decide. It's explicable that plans may fail, too, but hey, at least it will keep my head straight. Throughout the year, I've given so much thoughts to my future. To be honest, I do NOT know my ambition.

When I was younger, I thought of becoming a pilot, a fireman, doctor, lawyer, teacher, astronaut, scientist, and so forth. When I finished my degree, my ambition was a vague impression. What was your ambition back then?

So I came up with my very own 5-year plans. Well, I don't think it's original though hehe. These are the things I want to achieve in the span of 5 years starting next year according to order:

1. Finish my Masters by 2012.
I hope that I will not slack off and procrastinate on conducting surveys as well as observations. I'd like to have a Masters degree by the time I turn 24. :)

2.. Get engaged by 2012.
I've been dating the same guy for 5 years and we have talked about this. I mean, which couple wouldn't? We've talked about slowly settling down as a couple and to take our relationship to a new level. I've discussed this with my family and my relatives, so far, green lights. :)

3. Travel every year.
I love to immerse myself in cultures and nature, and traveling around the world is such a wonderful thing to do. With my current salary, I save 10% of it just for traveling expenses every month. I know, there are things that bound to come my way and disrupts the plan, but hey, worth the shot. I plan to travel around Malaysia first; starting small is always good.

4. Own a house or a car or both.
When I get a better paying job in the near future, I would love to buy my first car. It's just that pure satisfaction of buying something with your own hard-earned money. I also hope that I will be able to buy a house for my future family. :)

I want to have this in my house. :)

5. Save more money in ASB.
I think women should have their own savings just in case of any emergencies. Husbands are the bread winners, however women can too! I personally think it's empowering when women are able to fend for themselves and be independent despite having husbands. If you want something, go get it yourself. Right?

6. Own a Husky.
Huskies are tough to be owned. They're independent and basically smarter than other dogs, not to mention, much much more playful! Huskies require cool places to live in, and Malaysia's climate is no help. So, when I have my own house, I'd love to own a Husky, or a German Shepherd.

7. Pledge to be a child sponsor via World Vision as well as monthly donations to SSPCA.
It only takes RM 50 per month to sponsor a child who really needs someone like you. Perhaps a new twist to your current resolution? As for SSPCA, I think I've said enough on my previous post. :)

Last but not least, this is my biggest plan of all. With God's blessings, I hope this will be a good ending to my 5-year plans: To get married.

It's every girl's dream to get married, is it not? Garden or beach weddings are always wonderful, but again, Malaysia's climate is very unforgiving. It could rain!

Pics taken for the Metro shoot.

Have a blessed Advent. :)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Puteri Metro.

2010-11-23T15:36:00.003+08:00

Who knew this opportunity would come? :) My friend, Angelica got her full page spread on Harian Metro as Puteri Metro. She looked gorgeous! Then, she contacted me if I wanted to be interviewed by Metro journalist, Michelle.

Why not? :D Wouldn't pass that chance now, would I?

We had the interview done at a cafe near NSTP. Michelle and I bonded immediately, she's so bubbly! We shared stories for almost 2 hours and she told that my spread would be out the next day.

So, before I sent my tuition schedule to the tuition center, I bought a copy of Harian Metro today. Yes peeps, I'm currently working at a tuition center to teach English to primary school kids. :D Better work and earn your own money right?

How wonderful my morning was!

I chose the pin-up makeup look. Simplest & easiest to do.

Funniest parts. Bidayuh & My DOB, 1985.

Haha! Doi hal, okuk ponai sinda bidayuh. Tiak okuk mili frame.

Who would've thought? :) Blessings.

Thank you very much Michelle! Great job!

When Michelle asked me about my dreams, animals came into my mind immediately. Seeing SSPCA's area and lack of necessities upsets me, as the animals kept there have to be placedinto rather small cages due to lack of cages as well as spaces. There are also cases of owners who give up on training their dogs and cats, thus placing them at the center. Have you ever watched Animals Cops on Animal Planet?

Notice how they care for the animals and the great lengths they go to ensure the animals are well taken care of as well as safe? SSPCA cannot provide such privileges to the animals housed there, because they are short of funds. While the government is busy discussing about building the RM 5billion tower, animals are being killed by ignorant people and get away with the crimes they did.

If you have pets of your own, I'm sure it hurts to see your pets die. Malaysia's law to protect the animals is wretched. Read this story. Unless you're cold hearted, did it infuriate you? I highly doubt the government has time to discuss about animals now, so it's all up to us, the citizens.

People like this give me hope that someday we can treat what God has given us much better than now. I'd like to have my own shelter for stray animals and receive supports from various people. If that couldn't work, collaborating with SSPCA would be an excellent move.

Cats, dogs, healthy, scabbies, burned, scalded, lost their limbs, blind and so forth. They breathe, too.

Someday, humans will treat me better. :)

You don't have to believe me

But the way, the way I see it.

Next time you point a finger

I might have to bend it back

Or break it, break it off.

Next time you point a finger,

I'll point you to the mirror.

My first review post.

2010-11-08T23:51:00.001+08:00

This will be my first (I believe) review post. This post is just for fun, as I'm considering many topics for my blog. Besides talking and expressing my opinions on life and whatnots, I have decided that I'll write reviews based on my opinions once in a while. Just being random. :)

You may know that I had pimples on my cheek before, and a few on my upper lip. It was an ugly moment for me, as I rarely had pimples on my face. I fussed over those pimples like crazy and I went for facials to extract them. I was like, WOW! Extractions were painful yet so addictive! I was compelled to do more extractions. I digress.

Do click images for larger views.

1. The Body Shop Tea Tree

After two failed attempts on anti blemishes products, I gave Body Shop Tea Tree skincare range a go. I saw the starter kit at the store, and hey, why not? I've heard good reviews about this range. The kit contained Tea Tree Oil Skin Clearing Toner, Facial Wash, Clearing Lotion and Tea Tree oil.

I've finished the facial wash. :D

After a month, pimples have stopped growing and my skin is clear now. Though there are a few pimple scars (ugh), I'm happy to tell you that this range is my favorite skin care range for acne or blemished skin. The Tea Tree oil worked absolutely perfect on my skin, as the oil dried my pimples out the next day after application. The very next day.

2. The Body Shop Vitamin E Face Mist

Have you ever cringe at the sight of your cakey and melted makeup? I did, when I had to use heavy makeups during the beauty pageant. It was very unpleasant seeing melted face powder on my smile lines and forehead.

I initially bought this face mist because I was attracted to its description on the front, "On call moisture and Vitamin E protection." The face mist gives a refreshing sensation and it smells like a bouquet of roses, even my boyfriend loves this. I've been using this to set my makeup and it gives a dewy finish to your face. It absorbs real quick into your skin and your makeup is set.

The real icing on top of the cake? Even when I sweat, my makeup stays for hours. I've tried MAC Fix+, but this one is my favorite. Oh, and Vitamin E is a good source of antioxidant. :)

3. Nature Republic's Make up Base

Every makeup artist will tell you this: Your face needs to primed before putting on foundations/face powders so that your makeup will last longer than it normally would. Makeup bases or primers give a smooth layer on your face so that foundations or face powder will glide on smoother upon application.

Tried applying foundation without primers/base and cringe at the sight of how uneven your face looks like? Some makeup bases cover pores, even out skin tone, reduce the redness and give a velvety finish on your face. My first makeup base is MAC Strobe Cream. I liked it at first, but as I used it more often, it felt too oily on my skin. However it has a hint of shimmer to it, so it makes my face glows.

Now, I have switched to Nature Republic's makeup base. This makeup base is really cheap (RM 17.90!) and it smells so damn good. There are 2 makeup bases; the green and the purple tubes. I have no idea what is the difference between those tubes. I fell in love with this makeup base because it smells good and it makes my skin feel a lot softer after applying it.

It evens out my skin tone and reduce the redness on my nose area. This makeup base is like BB creams, where you have to apply it evenly to avoid ugly patches. It doesn't make my skin break out like BB creams and it brightens up my face. Two thumbs up! My two besties have fallen in love with it!

4. MAC Studio Sculpt Concealer

Concealers are must haves in every girl's makeup stash. You can skip applying foundation or even face powders if you put on concealers to hide blemishes. I've tried various concealers, and this has to be one of my favorite concealers. Its creamy texture is easier to blend and provides great coverage compared to liquid ones.

My another favorite is Stage's Picture Perfect Liquid Camouflage. It's easy to blend and it's thicker than other liquid concealers such as Maybelline's.

5. The Body Shop Vitamin C Microdermabrasion

I first saw this product at Body Shop's website and I was excited to look for it here. Who wouldn't? It's microdermabrasion ( Google it. :D )! Microdermabrasion facials in beauty salons are very expensive and you would have to go for a few sessions for better results.

These pimple scars have to go, thus I gave this product a try. I've been using this for a few times and it lives up to its promises. My pimple scars have faded a little and my skin is much smoother now. Made from camu camu berry which is known to have one of the highest contents of Vitamin C in nature, this microdermabrasion product is worth buying for those who are looking for alternatives to have smoother skins.

Upon application, my face feels slightly tingly but after a few seconds, that sensation fades. Its texture is different than normal face scrubs because of its finer granules which feels like sand granules. I'm in love with this. :)

So, this concludes my first review post. Do remember though, products may work differently on you. Drop some comments! :)

Even the angels have their wicked schemes.

Graduation 2010.

2010-10-25T14:14:00.000+08:00

Finally! I graduated on the 10th of October 2010. It was indeed a glorious day, as my beloved besties and families came to my graduation on a hot Sunday afternoon. This post is delayed, really.

My family members who came that wonderful day.

My beloved zombie who became the tour guide of the day for my family members.

Boyfriend and my aunt.

Family!

When I was in the hall, I felt so overwhelmed with my mom's absence that I had to fight the tears from falling. It was not easy, but I managed when a father of a fellow student who died from an accident came up to the stage in honor of his daughter. It must have been harder for him.

My grandparents from my dad's side and my grandma. Cute aren't they?

Flowers from everyone that came. :)

My two cute besties.

With dearest Audrey.

With dearest Dayang.

I am grateful that I was greeted by my two besties outside of the hall. They rock! After the graduation, my family members and I went to my mum's grave to share my day with her. I'm sure she had the grandest seat ever to watch my graduation ceremony, because as I entered the car after the visit, a song about heaven was aired on Mix. Fm. Coincidence? Don't think so. :)

Shared my flowers with her. I miss my best friend.

The next day, I had dinner with my besties and Ruth's mum at Barsaga. Ruth's mum treated us a good dinner and laughter, as well as a birthday gift for me! She's such an awesome mum. Ruth, if you're reading this, your mom is an angel!

These two became instant besties the moment I introduced them to each other. :D

Off frame a lil bit. :P

With aunty! We all love her, kan Ruth??

Teehee. Candid or what??

Then, during the weekend, I treated my family & relatives to a mini vacation at Sematan. I booked a VIP bungalow at Holiday Chalet Sematan to fit 20 people in it. Yep, 20. The mini vacation was for my graduation, and birthday celebrations; my cousins whose birthdays fall on the same day and my birthday! I ordered a large birthday cake from my boyfriend's aunt as normal sized cakes would not be sufficient to feed 20 people.

As my friend, Nat said, I've taken graduation pictures to a whole new level.

My boyfriend and I decided to take our robes along to Sematan. :) I'm a sucker when it comes to beaches.

With my cousins before they went out to the pool. :D These kids are swimming pool addicts.

Kisses.

The boys enjoying themselves. The one sitting is my boyfriend.

The three peeps who celebrated their birthdays.

Congratulations to all who have graduated and also to those who will graduate. :) Life's a rollercoaster.

Twenty Two.

2010-10-06T22:41:00.004+08:00

10.10.10. This is the day I've been looking forward to ever since university life started back in 2007. The day I'll be the joke of the day by posing at a studio/room with the ever popular book rack picture as background. I used to chuckle every time I saw people smiling in front of a fake background. Well, it'll be me soon, and I'm going to laugh at myself.

My boyfriend and I queued up real early just to get our robes, and alleluia, we finally got ours at 1.45pm. 5 hours of agonizing wait. I made fun of myself of how short I look like when I put the robe on. But, oh well, better than nothing. 2010 is really a significant year for me, as the 3 most important things in my life will happen in a row.

10th: My convocation. 12th: My 22nd birthday. 13th: 5th year anniversary with my beloved. It has been THAT long, half a decade. It still amazes me.

But, what I'm really anticipating for is my graduation. 3 years of work and play had finally paid off. How I wish my mum was here. We were very excited about my graduation during our trip to KL last December, and she mentioned that she would buy matching outfits with my dad. She'd also do her hair in a salon, and buy some real nice shoes for this occasion. It happens once, she said. My mum was a very simple woman, to her, salons and boutiques are not necessary. She'd cut her hair at a rundown salon for less than RM10 and her shoes were all Bata. Comfortable. Her makeups consisted of a few lipsticks, a compact powder and an eyeshadow kit, all from Avon. Those were the only makeups she used everyday.

She taught me one thing that I'll pass on to my children in the future; the value of earning something that you have worked for. She had lived a hard life and she spent 98% of her salaries on her 2 kids. The other 2%? She'd buy herself a real cheap panty. Growing up with her, she would always tell me that, if I want certain luxurious things in life, I'd have to work hard. By working hard, it all came down to studies. It was not much to ask.

I was in Kuning class in Primary 1, 2 and 3, and being in Kuning class kind of meant you were not as bright as those in Biru or Merah class. But in reality, those who were born in the month of September until December would be assigned to Kuning class. So, I worked hard to get myself a spot in Merah class. I did, and she gave me a whole lot of stickers and 2 sticker books. I was a huge fan of stickers back then. I had them until Primary 6, where they got taken away when I brought them to school.

Primary 6 came with a bigger deal. I'll get you a computer if you get straight A's, she promised. I did not study much before UPSR, but I got my straight A's. I was amazed. A few weeks later, a Compaq computer was placed neatly on one corner of my house, and I had a pink colored plastic chair with my name written with a blue marker on it.

Some of my friends had cellphones when I was in Form 3. I told her about it, and she said, straight A's first. Predictable. So, I studied hard 2 weeks before PMR, making sure I could remember every single thing from every single revision books. I did it again this time; straight A's. She gave me a Motorola cellphone that had a cute antenna. I felt cool, because the trend at that time was small phones.

Form 5 came, and I was nursing a broken heart a few months before SPM. ~~Screw you, jerk~~. Right before SPM started, I met my boyfriend and she was concerned that I'd neglect my studies. She'd pick me up at Civic Centre's library and whenever she saw my boyfriend around, she'd remind me to focus on my SPM. When the results came out, I let her down as I did not achieve straight A's, but a smile was then plastered again on her face when I got accepted into matriculation in Labuan a few months later.

After I had finished my matriculation, I learnt that she had used up almost half of her savings for me. She did not complain, she only said, I just want to see you graduate in a square hat. When I got my first Dean's list in the first semester, she brought the whole family out for a seafood dinner.

As I entered my final year as a university student, I told her that I was thinking of traveling to somewhere nice after my graduation. She was reluctant at first, but then she agreed. We talked about graduation and my plans after that quite often at the evenings after she came back from work. She turned 50 last year, and she had some money from her first EPF account, so we planned a getaway to KL. She had always wanted to see what KL was like since 1994. We went to KL in 1994 and it was still kind of laid back.

That trip felt like an early graduation gift. Now when I lay down in bed thinking, God really has plans for everyone. He had planned that my mum would live to see me going through the crucial phases in life and to make sure that I could stand through the pain, unwavering. She had lived to teach me how to be strong, and to be independent.

She had lived to see me turn 21 years old. The very age that everything is legal.

I can still remember her expressions as we talked about graduation. About my birthday. It hurts every time it crosses my mind that she would not be sitting between hundreds of proud parents in the hall. It hurts every time when I think that she would not get me a bouquet of flowers. It hurts every time when I think that she would not be around to look back at the pictures we would take that day and smile at me.

It hurts the most, knowing that she would be absent from my graduation family photo.

One simple thing many people tend to miss.

It hurts every single day, and I'm fighting it. I miss her. The pain I have in my heart is what that keeps me strong. It's me getting myself together, because there are millions out there who are feeling the same way.

One year is coming to an end, and birthdays come and go.

But for me, the greatest birthday gift is having a mom, who believes in you and encourages you for the better.

And a mom whose laughter you can never forget, it's like an echo at the back of your head.

Sabah!

2010-10-06T20:46:00.001+08:00

Yes, it has been exactly a month since I last wrote an entry. Apologies. :D I seriously don't know why I have not had the urge to update my blog, probably because I am too busy being a lazy bum. I've just came back from my Sabah trip and now I am preparing for my convocation. I'll not post many pictures from my Sabah trip here, if you want to see the rest, well, Facebook baby. But I don't add random people. :) Pics are in random order.

At Poring Hot Spring's canopy walkway.

I believe this canopy walkway is featured in Truly Asia's commercial. Check it out!

At Gaya Street's Sunday market. It's a heaven for pearl & accessories lovers.

Our last night at KK, dinner at Gaya Seafood with Chloe & Gab, whom we adore so much. They had helped us tremendously during our stay there. So, HUGS!

At Atmosphere, a rotating restaurant at Menara Tun Mustapha.

Our first day at KK. Waterfront.

At Jesselton Point.

We took a ferry ride to Labuan, just to shop for chocolates & liquors. But, tada! KML. Memories.

At the Chimney.

Things we bought in Labuan.

Dinner at Tanjung Aru's beach.

With my gorgeous friend, Chloe!

An island day!

We did parasailing. It was AWESOME! It was RM80 per person.

Lasted for 15 great minutes.

Frolicking in the sun!

Diving, of course! Paid RM250 for 2 dives.

During my second dive, I saw a shipwreck!

At Kudat. Look at the picturesque view behind us.

With Dino who was so kind to drive us there!

At Sabah Museum's car display. Nice huh?

At Lok Kawi Wildlife Centre. Tigers here were absolutely gorgeous.

At Kundasang. It was not as cold as the last time I went here. :(

At Kundasang War Memorial.

Sabah is an amazing place. I'll never get tired of this state. For a diver like me, the islands here are the perfect getaways and perfect spots to dive.

We're already planning for our next trip here, probably next year! :D

My 2 cents.

2010-08-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hey beloved people (yeap, even the haters a.k.a keyboard warriors). I know I've been neglecting my blog for soooooo long. I don't even know what I am doing these days, between going out with friends and doing my Masters' thesis, I'm basically jobless & carefree. Nice huh?

I'm going to warn you, this post may offend some people and it may be perceived as "sensational". I've been tweeting about these issues that I'm about to write lately, and I know I've been annoying my followers with countless rants. Sorry dear followers, thanks for keeping up with the Stephen. Haha. I love you all.

Recently, a friend of mine tagged me in a video, where this very controversial blogger, Raja Petra discussed about Islam and its followers. I'm not going to further elaborate on the video, you just have to view it yourself, ok? Here's the link, I'm too lazy to embed it, Internet's damn slow. I must say, he has a point, a point that infuriated many people, especially the government. If you think, really think, about it, isn't it's true? There he was, a Muslim, yet he was discussing the very matter that many would want him to be sent away to jail.

It's a couple of days away from Independence Day, do you feel the heat? I agree with what Raja Petra had said in the video; it's really the PEOPLE, NOT the religion itself. Religions are sacred and religions teach us the very basic as well as the same principles: Be kind to others & do good things. Which religion teaches us to do bad things, you tell me. My judgments may be a little skewed, but what I'm writing is what I'm feeling inside.

What irks you? For me, it's Malay girls who are pretentious. You can curse me now for saying that, but it's true. I've seen my fair share of them who take drugs, smoke, date people's husbands/boyfriends but say they're doing nothing wrong & the ones that fill Kuching's Waterfront searching for boys. I've even spoken to an acquaintance of mine who said drugs are halal for them, but alcohol is haram. I was like, HELLO!! I also know many girls who wear tudung and yet they are actually worse than those who don't wear tudung.

Many take pride in dating people's husbands/boyfriends. Wake up, girls. Really, wake up. It's not right to date someone who belongs to another woman, especially the ones that have children waiting for them at home. It's also not right to sleep around and tell people you are a good girl. Like what I have said in my Facebook, a good girl will never tell the whole world that she is a good girl.

You see, it's really the people. Not only that, there have been times where I witnessed shameful circumstances in cafes that I have been to. The latest one happened just yesterday while I was dining at SCR for dinner. This family had just finished praying to break fast, and I noticed a boy carrying donation tin for St. John's Ambulance was making his rounds around SCR. He had this huge grin on his face, and he approached the family's table slowly. I assumed he noticed the coins & a few ringgit notes that the woman placed on the table, but when he stood there asking for donations, the man quickly waved his hand indicating No and his wife shook her head. The boy left for the next table.

That very situation has happened a few times in front of me. Is this 1Malaysia? How would their children interpret that very situation? If you had the money to eat at SCR, surely 20cents wouldn't be missed from your wallet for donations?

Another thing is that, if the people are acting all sorts of wrongs, wouldn't the public assume negative judgments on them? Is it not? People are scared to go to Kuching's Golden Triangle now because of the alarming increased number of snatch & rob cases there. Shameful is also those who actually had the courage to ask the non Muslims when they are going to convert to Islam.

Whether you like it or not, it's the people that need some major adjustment in their minds & attitudes, the religion itself is sacred. Since it's the Independence day week, I also would like to point out that Sarawak and Sabah could have been far richer if we stood alone, like Singapore and Brunei. :) We also want better roads and basic necessities like electricity & water. We want TESCO, IKEA, Domino's and other international brands to be opened here.

To me, 1Malaysia is a mere notion, whereby the people understood it, but could never really practiced it. Happy Independence Day, Malaysia. Looks like we have a looooong journey ahead. :)

Dear readers, if you have any comments, please leave it on my comment box as I will disable my chatbox. It seems some people are just too coward to come forward & introduce themselves before they leave rude comments. They just forget that I can delete their comments in my chatbox. If you're brave enough like how you 'look' like through your words, I suggest you introduce yourself first, because by being anonymous, you're just another loser.

Anyway, 30th August is my dearest boyfriend's birthday. So to my beloved Uncle Theo, happy 23rd birthday! :D

I asked him what he wants to do on his birthday, he said, "A cheesecake." T_T

Okuk sikien yoh, oni yoh la'an ndai masa birthday yoh. Doik jawab soalan. Haha.

Toodles. Will ~~try to~~ write more soon! :D

Miss Borneo Tourism Queen International 2010.

2010-08-14T21:27:00.003+08:00

I don't know much about other beauty pageants, but this one is in the top of my Most Emotional beauty pageant list. Us Sarawakian girls went through so many difficulties that put our inner strength to test. The pageant was emotionally draining, up to the point where we were willing to buy our own flight tickets back and quit the pageant.

Charity Fashion show at Hyatt.

In casual outfit.

I also received calls from my Dean and Deputy Dean regarding my Masters, which required me to meet them personally. It was absolutely emotional for all of us, and we decided that enough is enough. So, that was why some of you read from my Twitter that I quit the pageant. Yes, we did quit the pageant and we went back to our hometowns, but for my case, I went to Bintulu to meet up with my boyfriend there.

In the sponsored wedding gown.

In our own black dresses. I bought this dress online, all thanks to Marciana who helped me to order this! :D

However, we decided to come back because we had so much love and support from the Sabah Tourism Board people, as they gave us their assurance that everything would be well taken care of. We trusted them, so we came back to Sabah. We were greeted by the STB people at the airport along with bouquets of flowers, which made us felt so appreciated and loved.

So, during the pageant week, we went to Kundasang for the homestay program at Walai Tokou Homestay. Kundasang is damn cold, just like Genting during rainy season! I envy the people there, as they don't need any fan or airconds to keep them cool. We were shivering like crazy when it started to rain. I love that place. We danced and sang the night away as part of the program.

At Pekan Nabalu. That's Mount Kinabalu behind me!

Crazy pose!

Gorgeous!

The performance by the Walai Tokou's band. They performed in RMWF 2009.

Doing the sumayau dance.

Teaching them a few Ngajat steps. :D

Agogo!

After the Kundasang trip, we had a photoshoot at Benny's studio, which theme was 30's style. Our hair and makeup were done according to that decade's hottest trend. Then, came the long awaited diving day. It was the International Cleanup day at Mamutik and Manukan Island. We planted baby corals as well as picked bags of wastes thrown into the sea. I was excited like crazy, because I could dive!

Mr Clement Lee presenting us with the certificate for the program.

Look at the wastes we found underwater!

OK!

Peace to all the marine life!

The grand finale night was held on the 6th August at Hyatt's Kimanis Ballroom. I was relieved that the night finally came and that simply meant, I'd be going home the next day. We were excited that the everything would end soon, but sad at the same time because we'd part ways after that. I grew to love Sabah and the people in a month, and I was kind of reluctant to leave Sabah. I managed to do a little shopping before leaving to Kuching with Chloe and Samantha.

God, I love them so much.

Pre judging on the 5th.

My dress was sponsored by Pearl Bridal Studio. Much love!

First round, traditional costume. Ooooo HA!

Second round, casual outfit.

Third round, evening dress.

I won the Miss Friendly title. Haha.

I was so happy as if I won the Miss Borneo title. haha!

With gorgeous peeps!

After the whole thing ended, Chloe, Dewina, Sam and I spent the morning eating at Upperstar and shared stories. For us first timers, this pageant really left a huge impact on our lives and it actually shaped our characters indirectly.

Nevertheless, I'm thankful for the opportunity and the people in it. There are some dramas that ensued after the pageant, you can read that on Miss Borneo's fanpage. It just shocks me how vulgar people can be, especially at young age.

It also scares me of what people are made of when they say, "Everyone thought I deserve to win." It's very upsetting. It's really not the kind of thing to say out loud, but I guess it's the way they were brought up that led them to think that way.

So, to all those who are thinking of joining any beauty pageants, make sure you're tough enough to accept criticisms and to deal with people of different backgrounds. Beauty pageants are not that glamorous on the inside. It's like going to war, only the battlefield is surrounded by glitters and all things that sparkle.

I can guarantee you it's made of Gossip Girls and also Pretty Little Liars, as well as maybe future Desperate Housewives. :D

Sabah!

2010-08-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

OMG! It's been soooo long since I last updated my blog. So many things have happened and I've been so busy with the beauty pageant. I'm glad to tell you guys that I won Miss Friendly title, and boy, is that title cute or not! :) I didn't expect to win anything, much less that title. LOL. It was my first pageant, and I expected nothing from it.

It has been a very emotional month for me, and it's safe to say, that pageant is my first and last pageant. I was skeptical of joining any beauty pageants because I know, it's not all green on the other side. It may look glamorous and grand on the outside, but once you're inside, you can be suffocated and overwhelmed by the pageant and the people. I gave this pageant a chance, because I had nothing to do after finishing my degree, and I had nothing to lose.

After a dive at Pulau Suluq. 30 minutes felt like 5 minutes.

I'm thankful that I joined this pageant, because I learned how to dive. I've always wanted to dive and explore the sea world. It was the main highlight of the pageant. So, now I am a certified diver!

With my dive master, Evan. Checking our equipments.

Posing underwater. haha

Come here Nemo!

Look at my face! Haha.

YEAHHH!!

I was scared at first, as I felt as if I'd drown underwater or be so helpless. During our first dive, while descending, my ears felt a sudden sharp pain. I forgot that I needed to equalize so that my ears wouldn't hurt. I panicked, and quickly pressed my BCD's inflation button. WOOOSHH! I ascended like a rocket to the surface. My dive master followed behind and asked me what's wrong. That was the first time I panicked underwater.

Sting ray!

The second time was when the instructor asked us to fill our mask with water and empty it by dodging our heads back and exhaled really hard to squeeze the water out. I hate doing it, until today. I panicked when I accidentally breathed in salt water and my eyes felt really sore. So, yeah, I ascended to the surface like a rocket, again.

Certified diver! OWHH YEAHH!

All of that happened on my first dive. I was like, God, I don't want to do this anymore. But, I eventually got the hang of it, and I enjoyed every single minute of diving. I'm now addicted to it! Life underwater is so much more peaceful, and the sea world is just so awesome. Too bad people are so ignorant and selfish, because there are so many wastes underwater! People even throw school bags into the sea. Ever heard of rubbish bins??

A day out with Dee! Lunch at One Borneo.

After a long shoot at Hyatt, we had dinner at Waterfront. With the gorgeous view of the sea and Pulau Gaya.

Dinner with Sabah Tourism Board people. :) I love them.

Video shoot at Cock and Bull Bar.

Flowers from STB. Awwww

Me singing Feels like home by Chantal Kreviazuk on Talent Night.

With the winner of Best Talent as well as Miss Borneo Tourism 2010, Elaine Lee!

The diving part was fun. The talent night was memorable, because after the whole thing ended, a few Westerners approached me and told me that my singing was so graceful that they won't ever forget it. I remember the exact words one of them said to me, "Your voice was so lovely, and I will never forget your voice when you sang that song." I felt so touched. It meant so much more as they were total strangers, and they actually told me how they felt about my performance even though they didn't know me.

Who wouldn't feel honored? :) I have posted the video on Youtube. I was recovering from fever and bad cough that day. I drank so much water that I peed so often. T_T

Anyway, I'll continue in the next post. This one is too long. :P

Snippets of Kota Kinabalu.

2010-07-19T19:44:00.000+08:00

Harlow! I am currently in Kota Kinabalu for the Miss Borneo Tourism 2010, and I'm enjoying every single day here. The people here are polite, the weather is nice, the malls are way better and the things are much cheaper! Boo Kuching.

I'll not update fully yet, because I'll do so once this pageant is over. :D Here are the things that I've been doing here so far since I arrived here on the 16th.

Dinner at Lintas.

Photoshoot with Benny Liew at his studio.

With my girls. Best people to hang out with, Marlene and Janet.

At Hyatt's Shenanigan's.

At First Beach Tanjung Aru. It's a open space food court! DAMN!

Sutera Harbor Resort, where we waited for boats to go to Mamutik Island.

Us in our scuba diving suits.

Gearing up.

Checking and adjusting the tanks to our BCDs.

Hello Carlos! It's a frequent lizard that roams around the quarters.

The outcome of the photoshoot. Makeup and hair done by yours truly. :D

In my bikini.

In my cocktail dress. :D

Will update more soon!

Marry me. Change me.

2010-07-05T20:05:00.001+08:00

Many of you may have read my pimples woes on my Twitter and Facebook. Ever since I ran out of my beloved skincare products, Loreal Pure Zone, pimples pop out like crazy on my chin area. I'm currently using Za True White Plus and Loreal DermaGenesis products.

So far, my skintone is more even and silkier to touch all thanks to Za. However, it didn't stop the pimples from popping out. I love DermaGenesis Pore Minimizing Smoother gel cream to bits because it works just fine on my face. It delivers what it promises; reduces my pore sizes.

I used to have quite visible pores on my T-zone and after a month of using this gel cream, my pores were reduced, like by 80% at least! I love it and I love the texture.

I've been contemplating on what products that I should buy to reduce these pimples and prevent further ones from popping out to say hello. I've considered Biotherm Aquasource, ProActiv, Eucerin, Clinelle, Simple, The Face Shop, Nature Republic and Neutrogena.

Let's skip BodyShop, Clearasil, Oxy and Clean & Clear. They totally don't work at all on my skin.

Sigh. Let's mourn for Loreal Pure Zone and the products' discontinuation. BOO YOU Loreal peeps! Why discontinue such a good skincare range?? Many girls are mourning for the loss.

I finished my last bottle of the Deep Exfoliating Gel wash a few months ago, and I tell you, HALLELUJAH to all pimples! All pimple hell breaks loose.

"Where should we show ourselves??"

"Forehead?" NO! "Nose?" NO! "Cheeks?" YES! "Chin?" YES! And they all did the fist pumps beneath my skin surface. Hence, this. All on the right side of my face.

All sweaty after working out. See the cute pimples? *long sigh* And yes, I have 4 piercings on my ear lobe there, if you notice.

Scary right? Not a fan of Photoshop. What you see is what you get. I don't liquify or cover up my pimples.

I seldom had pimples before, all thanks to Loreal Pure Zone. Not even the worst menstruation could stir up pimples.

So, this morning I was determined to get out of bed and got everything done; my debt with CAIS, my graduation letter at BPPS and tHe Spring.

Yes, I owed CAIS RM 18.20. BIG deal. T_T After getting my things done in UNIMAS, I went to Spring. I bought Nature Republic's Blemish Lab AC skincare range.

I did not buy the cleanser because I still have tons at home.

Anti Blemish Ampoule. The cute salesgirl pronounced it as "Empul". :D RM 73.90

AC Control Essence. RM 57.90 See, Rain is doing the peek-a-boo. :P

And free gifts!

The salesgirl gave me 2 bottles of White Therapy toner & emulsion as well as a pack of mask! NICE!

I'm excited to put these on my face. I'll update you on the verdict after 2 weeks okay? :D Now, I'm focusing on detoxifying myself by doing cardio (running/ skipping rope) for at least 20 minutes and another 20 minutes on workouts (squats, pushups, lunges). I keep a large bottle of mineral water by my bed whenever I'm online. I'm hopelessly fit? :P

To set the record straight, FIT and SKINNY are NOT the same. If you're thinking it's the same, you must run around the track 10 times and see if your views are still the same.

P.S.: Eclipse is kinda boring. Buy DVD instead. I watched it 3 days ago, and I was like, come on Bella! I just can't wait to watch Breaking Dawn. :P Renesmee.

P.S.S: Team Jacob!

21 years had come and gone.

2010-07-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's just one of those days that I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for hugs. I'm thankful for kisses. I'm thankful for friends who got hurt by the mean things people say about me, and called just to say hi.

I'm thankful I finally finished reading Kate Mosse- The Winter Ghosts; I started reading it in February, read a few pages every other day and finally flipped the last page today. Good book, it is.

Featured in one of Sabah's newpaper column. Also at Borneo Post. :D

Mandy and I had dinner with Jakeman and his friend Ramesh at Gossip.

We all agreed on one thing; the place SUCKS like hell. Food was below mediocre. The only thing I'd come back for is the gorgeous sofas. Embedded with huge rhinestones!

Miss Gorgeous and I looking orange. Oompa Loompa??

Posed with our Amazing Potato Salad. Yeah, very "amazing."

Group pic! :) Our long, awaited dinner with Mr. Big/Jakeman, WITHOUT Farah. That amoi, all the way in KL right now.

There, a human staircase. LOL. The 5 feet 5, the 5 feet 7 and the 6 feet 3.

After the dinner, Mandy and I went to Hijau, to blend in with the crowd watching football match. Haha. Bad idea.

Here's something to gasp at.

Would you buy it? Haha. Even La Mer's essence cremes are much cheaper!

Miss Borneo Tourism 2010.

2010-06-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, after lunch, oh man, my eyes, I was damn sleepy. Hold on, let's see what's on Astro now. Okay, Giuliana and Bill planning another wedding at Chicago. I watched that, because there was nothing else to watch. Suddenly, the big screen TV showed, "Your SmartCard is inactive. Please call Astro Customer Service." Paloi! Where's the bill??? This one is daddy's fault.

So I slept on the couch. At 6pm sharp, I woke up. It's automatic, my favorite TV show would be aired soon. The Nanny. So, I turned on the TV and Astro decoder, oh man, I forgot. T_T

I dragged my lazy bum to my room and switched on my laptop. First thing, Twitter. Then Facebook. Okay, 99++ notifications, friends commenting on my recent photo album. Okay, profile then. Scrolled down, then suddenly this attracted my attention.

I choked on my guava juice I made earlier and I lost the appetite to eat Chachos Cheesy Cheese snack. I started to click to Miss Borneo Tourism 2010 fanpage and there was the announcement. I went to the website, my face is there.

I'm still hyperventilating and recovering from a huge shock now, I can still feel my fingers tremble a little bit. WHY? I honestly thought I failed the audition BIG time. The only talent I have is singing. I don't know how to play any musical instruments. I dance for fun. They were looking for talented people, like Marie Digby, Colbie Caillat, Taylor Swift and so forth.

The Miss Borneo Tourism 2010 audition at Starbucks. Cool place right?

Hmmmm.

If my mum was here, she would be laughing at me and giving me the nah-ambik-kau look. It's her blessings that I made it to the finals. I like the picture, the pimple on my cheek was not visible! :D

Ah, the story of my life. Nah, don't need to slap myself to make sure all of these are real. I choked on my guava juice, that's real enough.

I'm so stoked! I will get to visit Sabah earlier than I expected and I'm hoping to learn a lot of things from this pageant.

Anyways, these are recent pictures of my boyfriend, my brother and I at a fun fair in MJC, Batu Kawah. If you ask me, the fun fair was a total bore. But I went on this boat ride, I thought it was innocently boring, but it turned out to be so horrifying because the only thing we held on to was a rail! Nothing else!

As the boat swayed high back and forth, I screamed like a little girl and shouted "Justin Bieber, OMG!!!" because JB's entire album was played during the ride. T_T

Needless to say, I left the boat feeling EXTREMELY nauseous and dizzy that I knocked the wall while making my way to the bedroom. T_T

The fun fair. I wonder if they passed the Safety requirements.

I remember what I said before the ride started. "Boo, this is so boring." I was WRONG.

Pony ride.

My brother and my boyfriend.

The 2 Chinese dudes were cursing me the entire time. "MCB ah. Wa be tahan oh." They cursed me for being so loud because they thought I didn't understand Hokkien. Sorry dudes, I DO!

I understand Hokkien better than I do on Mandarin. Probably because I was surrounded by Hokkien-speaking friends back in high school.

I'm feeling nauseous seeing the picture.

Ok, see you in Kota Kinabalu! :D

P.S.: I got it from my mama!

Encik, ini pigi mana arr?

2010-06-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

Translation: Sir, where does this leads to? LOL. Epic conversation between Kenneth and the security guard at Santubong Resort. My dearest guy friends were all around for the last few days, and I can't tell you how happy I was! ALL OF THEM!

Kenneth is back from Nottingham and Joshua was back from Bintulu (now he's back in Bintulu). Jim and Jude are on their holidays. Francesca is also back from Manchester for summer holidays. Perfect right?

Prom in 2005. Way back when Emmanuel was still very athletic. Now, he's 'happier' in size! LOL.

I got to know Kenneth way back in 2003, if I'm not mistaken. We had tuitions at Parish Tuition Centre, and we became friends as we shared a few classes together. Keneng, if I'm wrong about this, you are welcomed to correct me. :D We grew closer during Youth ER in 2005.

As for the 3 Js; Joshua, Jim and Jude, I knew them through YCS (Young Christian Students) club in high school. We went to camps and seminars together, and we got along very well. I remembered the pranks they played on us girls in Mount Singai back in 2004. We also joined the Youth ER as the crews in 2005.

I sat at the very left corner. Old times. :D

Honestly, having many guy friends is much better than having many girl friends. Guys are more open and honest, not as vulnerable as girls. They are also willing to accept you for who you are and they are superb to hang out with because they are not afraid to look or act stupid in public places.

The best advantage? They tell you their relationship opinions from their point of views. :) All the time we rely too much on girls' opinions that we forget about the guys.

I heart them so much. I miss them like crazy, because we have not met each other properly like this since 2005. I miss the times where we would sit at church compound after school and hang out there until my mum came to pick me up after work. Josh would have his guitar and we would sing together with Adelle, Stacy and Edmund.

YCS Camp in Bunan Gega. Great memories. :) Spot me!

I also miss the times we went to study at Civic Centre's library together before SPM and the trips to Hopoh for bubble teas. I was much closer to guys than girls in high school.

So, the past two days, we decided to make full use of the time that they were all available. We met up for lunches, dinners and even a not-so-random-yet-very-unprepared trip to the beach!

At Tarot Cafe. Food sucks BIG time. Don't come here.

Kaya and toast bread. You can do better!

Nah!

The 2B's. Brendan Lo (red shirt) and Brendan Chin (grey shirt). I also knew them through YCS and Christmas caroling! Oh I miss caroling with you peeps.

We ditched Tarot Cafe and went to Boulevard. It was mad packed with people that afternoon.

Say cheese!

Futsal time!

The goalkeeper who got injured after that.

My driver, driving my Limo. HAHA!

At 3rd Mile food court.

Then we went to Friendship Park to hang out.

We all shared stories and silly stuffs on wet pavement.

The best thing about them? All are non smokers. :)

The next day, we went to the beach! I chose to sit behind, because I am such a monkey! :D

Tour guide and driver. haha!

Jude, LOL!

The sticker on my cheekbone. :)

We moved to Kem Permai because Damai Beach is too boring.

We like them sunlight!

Hehehe.

JIM! AIYO!

Suspended in motion. Jim lent me his extra t-shirt and Josh lent me his extra pants because I was so unprepared. I seriously thought we were not going to swim.

Yeah!

Priceless. Everyone was tired of jumping.

We all waited for the sunset.

Failed attempt. haha!

We poked our heads out through Ken's car's rooftop! Super fun!

Gorgeous pic!

Then, we ended our 2 days adventures at Friendship Park after dinner at Jalan Song. :)

The best guy friends anyone could have. :D Their absence make our friendships grow fonder!

WAKA WAKA!

Adopt them! :)

2010-06-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

Many of you are familiar of me talking about animals and SSPCA in my previous posts. SSPCA is currently sheltering many abandoned animals such as cats and dogs, and it is situated at 7th Mile, the junction before the huge BATA building (or is it Bombay Masala).

Like I've said in my previous post, life is not a fairy tale. But you can make these animals' lives better by adopting them or donating to the shelter. Why buy dogs and cats that cost thousands and with high maintenance (checkups, injections, grooming etc) when you can adopt these animals from the shelter for only a fraction of the cost, probably even less?

I'm so attracted to the black one. :)

Adopt me, and I'll be fatter like Garfield! :D

Giving is much more blessed than receiving. Yes?

If you're not a fan of furry animals, you can pledge to be their donors in terms of cash or foods. If you're feeling alone and lost, do something for these animals. After all, God made them, just like He made us.

How can you not love them? :D Look at those ears!

Need a friend through lonely times? I'm here if you will adopt me!

Donating doesn't need much, considering the relatively cheap cats and dogs' foods at animal pet stores. Perhaps RM 30 from your monthly pay/allowance for these cute animals? :) There are bigger things in this world.

I have 3 dogs at home and 2 rabbits, believe me, they help me to get through hard times. They do. There's just something about my dogs putting their paws on my lap and look at me with their big brown eyes. Same goes to my rabbits. They may be some motherchuckers that eat like there's no tomorrow and poop 24/7, but they give the best bunny kisses.

Pick one of us, we promise we'll be good!

Did I tell you, SSPCA is NOT funded by government? So much of RM800 millions for the new castle huh?

Do visit SSPCA's website here and read the information in it. All pictures are taken from SSPCA's Facebook page. Do join them here.

Anyway, I just received my orders from My Best Buy World. Here's the website. If you have not heard of it, it's an online shop where international brands are sold such as SK II, Chanel, Clarins, Lancome and so forth. Fret not, all of the stuffs sold in Best Buy World are genuine as well as CHEAP!

Why cheap? Best Buy World sells trial sets, samples, miniatures and rejects. One con though, Best Buy World does not sell any Victoria's Secret products. Anyway, if you've been meaning to try out those super expensive skincare products like La Mer, SK II and Lancome, Best Buy World has trial and sample sets for sale!

If you purchase more than RM100, shipping is free! Perfumes are also available at low prices! Do I sound convincing enough? T_T

I bought BB creams from My Best Buy World because I've been reading great reviews about BB creams everywhere. So, I ordered Skin Shop BB creams last Friday and I received the creams today. :) Convenient much?

Nature Resource (is it??) has been opened recently at the Spring and BB cream is available there too. The brand ambassador is Rain. Clear shampoo's advertisement, "Hi, nama saya Rain dan saya guna Clear Men." T_T It's around RM 59 if I'm not mistaken. I'll try that after I finish off these two. :) Oh, do try the makeup base though! They're good. Not sure what's the difference between green and purple one though.

I'm still thinking what's the actual name of the shop. Haha.

Toodles! :D

Don Henley & Patty Smith- Sometimes love just ain't enough.

2010-06-22T17:39:00.001+08:00

15 years coupledom = Marriage. No?

2010-06-22T14:20:00.000+08:00

Have you read the news that Leona Lewis and her boyfriend of 10 years have broken up? That was the relationship that I thought would last considering the time that they had been together, and they met when they were only 10.

Sure, they're celebrities and they lead a different kind of life, but they're just the same when it comes to love. My news feed is often colorful, and by that I mean my brother's friends especially girls, who are professing their undying love for their boyfriends. They're just 14. It's like saying, What does Bieber knows about love at 15?

I am in a long term relationship myself, 5 years to be exact. I've seen my fair share of long term relationships that finally made it down the aisle and those that didn't. Some relationships were as short as a year, some were as long for more than a decade. It suddenly donned to me that the years in a relationship does NOT guarantee that much wanted ring on the finger (marriage).

Ever heard of carpe diem? Yes, seize the moment. My relationship started out in high school when I was about to sit for my SPM. The relationship was young and very fragile; what people usually call, puppy love. We've been through many, many things for 5 years, and we've talked about marriage. But there are many things that we have to think through before walking down that aisle.

We're not stable financially as we both are still living with parents and still need their financial aids. We're both below 25, and guys below 25 find it hard to commit to a marriage because they still want to enjoy being guys. Unless we're able to stand on our own feet with our own incomes, then it's a definite possibility. Like what Andrew said in The Proposal, "I'm not rich. My parents are rich."

I'm not being negative, I'm just being realistic. The world has endless possibilities, it's 2010 now and human can now have iPhone 4G. Imagine 2011. It doesn't mean you've been together for 15 years, you'll get married to the guy/girl you love. It's the fact now. That is why FOREVER doesn't exist in my love dictionary, it's very overrated. It's what you do in those years to keep your relationship going stronger and to keep the sparks alive. Relationships are not handcuffs, where you're bonded together 24/7.

You can keep going for 3 years, but if only one of you are willing to go the extra mile, yet the other one is walking 10 steps behind you, it's still not going to guarantee you a marriage. If you think relationships are tough, try marriage.

Life's not a fairytale, where it's happily ever after after getting married. I will refrain from reading fairytale stories to my kids in the future. T_T Sometimes, girls have to realize that being together for years will not lead to a marriage. You can do every single thing together in those years, but when it has run its course, it will end. It would be a lie if you said during those years you never fought with your partner. Sometimes, we lose faith in what we initially believed in.

I'm scared myself, of how my own relationship will turn out to be, and I'm uncertain of what's in front of us. God has laid out a plan for us, a different one than ours.

If I told you, every couple needs a break, would you believe me? If I told you, every couple becomes frustrated with each other, would you believe me?

Happy couples don't mean they're all set for marriage. Troubled ones don't mean it won't work out. Sometimes being together for too long may cause boredom. Sometimes doing too many things together all the time might lose the spark. Sometimes distance DON'T make the heart grows fonder. Sometimes differences DO matter. Sometimes it isn't because of trust, it is because the feelings are just gone.

You may ask, who are you to say all these?

I am nobody, but somebody with an opinion and has observed all that I have said. Nothing in this world is guaranteed because what we own in this world cannot be taken into afterlife. If you said, putting a RM100 note in a dead person's hand inside his/her coffin will miraculously appear in his/her hand in afterlife, you seriously need to remember that, when humans are born into this world, humans came with nothing in their hands.

Why would we have something in our hands when we go back to where it all started?

Same thing goes with relationships. It's beautiful to have someone by our side for years, but anything can happen along the way. Positive or not, it's bound to happen. When we love, love graciously. It's easy to get lost in this world where people are showing their loves publicly all the time. Love graciously, it shows through private affections.

But despite all that may happen, just have a little faith in love. Marriage or no marriage, love brings us together. Love while you can and when you can. Don't get into the FOREVER bandwagon, unless you're a fan of Forever21. I am, but they don't have any store in Kuching nor they ship clothes here.

If you're going to love forever, live forever. Forever is eternity, and no BODY lives for eternity. Only souls.

Love graciously. :)

Take a risk.

2010-06-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

One of the songs that really reflect my life at the moment is Kelly Clarkson- Breakaway. Relatives and friends have asked me when I'll start working or studying again. Well, I've sent out my Masters application a few days ago and they're still processing it, last I checked.
About work, no. I received a job offer the other to work at a kindergarten, I might accept it. I love kids, and it's a good start for everything. In my opinion, I just don't want to be stuck in a rut too early and too fast. Too often I hear people sigh out their frustration at work. Burnout is common and it doesn't matter how long you've been working in the company. My mom had a pretty stable job yet she had reached the plateau stage many, many years ago.
It's pretty difficult to take on a different path in my family because everyone is so used to routines and doing similar things. I just want something else in my life that my mum never got the chance to do; To breakaway. I'm 21, and girls who are 21 years old are doing what 21 year olds do; partying, dating, meeting new people and venturing out. I'm not a party girl, therefore my way to breakaway is just to enjoy my friends' companies at cafes and cinemas, mini vacations and traveling.
I'm looking forward to my Sabah trip in September. It's just something I had been planning with my mum before I entered my third year. I initially planned to go to KL and Langkawi, but my boyfriend made me change my mind. Good thing, because I can go to Labuan, where all the cheap chocolates are! :D Let's just see if I can still remember the roads there.
Life's indeed to short. But choose your paths and actions wisely. It doesn't mean that it is short, it is a pass for everything in this world.